Simple Words
As I have often referred to in the past, words matter. The words we write and the words we speak impact how people view us, how we view ourselves, and to some extent the words we use define us. By the same token, the words we hear or read also have an influence on us. You have heard it said, “words hurt.” Yes, they can. They can also inspire or delight. Yesterday I was delighted.
My Grandson called me Paw Paw for the first time. The experience was indescribable. Everything that had been on my shoulders fell aside and the world seemed to stop. He instantly saw the joy on my face and responded with a wide smile. It was a moment of connection; a connection that will last a lifetime.
I had heard all the positives that come from being a grandparent and, admittedly, hadn’t really given it much credence. I mean when you are not a grandparent, you see others’ happiness, and sometimes over the top need to brag, and accept they love their new role, but you can’t know what it feels like until you have your own experience.
I am convinced that grandkids come at the right time. For most of us, we are entering a new phase of our lives; our body doesn’t work like it used to, our aspirations have evolved, our view of the world has likely adjusted, we are ending our work lives, and to be honest, wondering what’s next. And then a little bundle of joy shows up, without the responsibility of parenting. It is the best of all worlds.
There is something to the widely held opinion that being a grandparent is about spoiling the little one and not worrying about it. But in my experience, that’s not really what is happening. I think it is a sense that you can have unbridled fun, playtime and laughter, silliness and, if you choose, mischief. Sure, the little person might cry, they are human after all, but when they cry, it doesn’t cause anxiety. I am not sure why, but it doesn’t. Again, maybe it is just the realization that for the first time in a long time (maybe ever), you can find joy without a healthy dose of corresponding problems. I don’t know what it is and it doesn’t matter.
What does matter is the feeling I have when I am around my little guy. I feel a sense of accomplishment, the passing of the torch, and a growing legacy. The awareness that I am now higher up the generational chain as a grandparent than I was as a child or even a parent, brings me peace. It is as though I was built for this. There is no inherent competition, or struggles, or conflicts. There is just a little boy that looks at me with interest and anticipation, and there is a maturing man (who looks in the mirror and sometimes wonders why my dad is looking back at me), engaged in some activity that we both find fun.
I know the world isn’t perfect and my experience isn’t universal. I recognize others may not be able to shamelessly relax and enjoy their grandkids. That’s unfortunate, I wish everyone could reach a point in their life when their past achievements bring them peace and not regret. I think older people would be in a better place if they invested emotionally in the learnings that comes from watching a young person, with their DNA, grow and mature. I believe it might eliminate any emotional baggage that lingers. I know I feel that opportunity presenting itself for me, and it is a blessing. On the flip side, there is no doubt the little ones benefit from the wisdom that comes from their elders. After all we have lived in this world long enough to have seen a bunch of things; we know change, disappointment, love, life. Maybe the time has passed us by and the way I spent time with my grandparents is no more; I hope not. I hope I can sit on my front porch, or around a campfire, telling stories to my grandkids like my Mamaw did, that would be nice.
I know this, nothing brings a smile to my face faster or more intensely than seeing my Grandson. When I am with him, I could care less about all the noise that pervades my life. The problems I worry about, the people that are toxic, and the uncertainty of the future, are gone. Of course, he doesn’t know he does that for me, but he does know I am ecstatic to see him. I have concluded he knows that when he is with me, no matter what he does, I am not going to scold him. I am going to smile, laugh, and when he gets older, I intend to tell him a story or two that will offer some sage advice to him. Simply put, I have his back, and he senses it. I will let his parents teach him all the hard stuff, I will focus on what I have learned through a lifetime of ups and downs. And I will do it with gratitude. What a blessing to have someone in your life that allows you to love them openly and freely.
Yesterday was a big day for me. I had anticipated it but couldn’t have imagined how impactful it would be. With a few simple words, my Grandson gave me a name.
