What Were They Thinking
As a frequent reader of this column, you know my writings attempt to chronicle what’s on my mind with the hope that it will stimulate readers to take a moment out of their day to let their mind wander. Monday night, as I waited out a long layover in the Atlanta airport, I was captivated by the thought, “what were these people thinking.” My question came from one of the inevitable methods I have for killing time in terminal B; people watching, and I was fully engaged with the hordes of flyers walking frantically past me as they tried to get to their connection.
I recognize I am older, and with that comes thoughts of the good old days, or the recurring fear that the world is changing in ways I don’t like. I admit, I might occasionally be guilty of seeing things through the eyes of my dad. Nevertheless, I am certain what I am witnessing is a new phenomenon, and it is a head scratcher.
Have you noticed the T-shirts people are wearing and what those T-shirts say? There seems to be no limit to what people will wear on their chest and with little regard for anyone, the messages are going too far.
I became focused on this topic as I stared at a woman whose shirt said, “I am not shy, I just don’t like you.” Innocent enough, but I was struck; what message is she trying to convey? Quickly, and maybe unfairly, I concluded she is likely a miserable person that I don’t want to talk to. Again, that may not be right, but what choice is there when she advertises, she is antisocial and not keen to talk to people. Or what about the shirts that now think it is okay to drop the F bomb and parade around like its an acceptable word to show? I’m not prude, but there are hardly more crude words in the English language. I am also bothered by the “Let’s Go Brandon” shirts. I get it, they like Trump and hate our current president. But he is the president of the United States. Seems to me when you think it is okay to suggest he go fornicate himself, maybe you should focus on policy and getting your person elected, not demeaning the office holder. What about shirts that are trying to be funny? I saw a couple wearing matching shirts with the husbands saying, “you need to drink me pretty.” The woman’s shirt replied, “there isn’t enough alcohol to drink you pretty.” Being funny isn’t easy and T-shirts almost always uniformly fail at comedy. Typically, for every person that thinks it is funny some much more substantial numbers don’t find the humor.
As I think about this, it seems you can generally categorize the goal of people who wear silly shirts into four groups; those who are trying to be funny, those who want to be provocative, those who are trying to deliver a message, and those who seemingly want to tell everyone that sees them, they are stupid. Maybe I am overthinking this, but maybe people should think about what they wear and what it says about them.
In my humble view, we could do without walking billboards of hate, anger, vulgarity, and stupidity. Someone will likely take offense to my opinion of this growing trend and respond that everyone has a first amendment right to say whatever they want. I agree with that. That is a cornerstone of our democracy, and it is important. However, just because you CAN say something, doesn’t mean you should. I am reminded of my earliest days as a newly minted college graduate. I was at a dinner with other new hires and a senior vice president of the company who hired me out of school. As the dinner progressed, and a few drinks were consumed, the conversation lightened up and became more relaxing. At that point, one of the young, eager, additions to the company, told a joke. We all laughed, including the executive. As the laughter faded, the leader at the head of the table turned his smile into a stare and said firmly, “that was funny but not smart.” I have never forgotten that. Simply put, what you say, or wear, tells those who interact with you something about you.
As I began to unpack this and to consider why this is happening, I stumbled into a theory that seems as good as any. The ability of people to say anything in social media without being identified or without recourse has grown to the point that people feel comfortable spewing anything, whether it is true or not, or offensive, or hateful, or just plain moronic. The internet has given licenses to citizens to use their free speech right at scale. It is as though they scream fire in a movie theater, and nothing happens to them, so they keep doing it.
Do people who traffic in saying whatever online internalize they are doing it in an isolated silo; therefore, they don’t recognize they aren’t hidden when openly walking around in public? I don’t know what else it could be. Is it our standards have fallen so much that we no longer care when a guy walks through a street fair with a T-shirt that says “F Joe Biden”; are we numb?
Regardless of whether it is fair or not, when a person wears a shirt with a statement that is trying to be funny, or provocative, or rude, or just stupid, they are sending a signal of who they are. Seems to me they would want to think about that before they pull the shirt over their head.
As I write this, I am wondering why this bothers me. I guess I am worried that we are getting dumber. Could that be true? I sure hope not; but we are getting more extreme, and we are no longer just projecting that privately, or in like-minded circles. We are now displaying our feelings publicly and forcing others to ignore them or challenge them by saying something.
I saw a t-shirt recently that said, “you can take my gun, one bullet at a time.” I guess he wants us to know he has the right to bear arms; fine with me. Also sounds like he wants you to know he is a badass, or violent, or threatening. What a dumb thing to project. If you want to maintain the right to carry a gun, I wouldn’t object, but if you possess the intellect to suggest you will harm those who don’t believe what you say, I prefer you not have anything to do with me or those I love.
And that is the problem. Such harsh statements force us into corners and tribes. I have never spoken to the person who wore the shirt, maybe he is a hell of a guy. Maybe I would like him, but I will never know. Without saying a word, he has created a wall with me that I don’t want to climb over.
Just today, I saw a man wearing a T-shirt that said, “I am pro-life, unless you are on my lawn.” I have no comment, other than to say, “what is he thinking ?”
